porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
