giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
