I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
