So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
