come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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