party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
