I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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