Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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