we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dignity is for republicans.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
