he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
