So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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