Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
