I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
