I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
