Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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