The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
