I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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