I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
