Me. At least after what I've been through.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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