in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
