I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize