p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
