I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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