i already hear my dad disowning me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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