How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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