She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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