I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
