hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
