two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i believe in u and ur pee
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
