I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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