you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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