Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
