I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How does one acquire holy water?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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