there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
