butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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