Jerry, you need to find god
grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
