from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
