You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
