My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I have post one night stand depression
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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