tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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