We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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