it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
