if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
