it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
