if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
