according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
did you just send me my own nude
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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