at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
