i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
