I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
