Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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