Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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