Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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