Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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