I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
