please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
