# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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