He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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