there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
