Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize