I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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