Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
