I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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